Post 5 What Holds Me Back From What I Want

As a hero that I am, I have my weaknesses and what holds me back from getting what I want. You all know what I want in my life and what I want to accomplish, but what you dont know is what is holding me back and why. My shadow is not a person, but a feeling, a thing, an emotion. What defeats me in my battles is: My selfishness as some people would call it. My emotionall feelings, my wanting more than what I have, and feelings to get revenge on people, and the feeling of embarassment. I dont mind acting a fool if I am around friends, family and people I am cool with but, when I get infront of a person or group of people I do not like or people I dont want to see me doing goofy things, I freeze up or I get real nervous and wing it. Being a super hero or any kind of hero doesnt just mean to help or show off or brag, but about making friends and doing what you think is right and making a difference. For me I am the leader of the younger family members in my family, and I hat to act a fool infront of them and have them judge me or follow my lead abd do as I do. I am the follwer to my older siblings and do what they taught me and do things my way, and when I do something kooky, or follish I cant help but to get embarassed and get very red.
Every hero has there weakness, I just told you of mine, and now I am going to tell you how I am going to rid myself of that feeling. What I want to be when I grow has to do with getting over my feeling embarassed to act foolish infront of certain people. To get over this I am going to: Work harder on not caring what people think about me or how I look because, whats it to them?? I only care about me and what I think I look like and what I may sound like, and the sudience can like it or not, or they can not care thats their peoblem. I am a very emotional person and I cant help that. But what I can help is my emotions towards attittude and the feeling of getting revenge on someone. When someone makes me really mad or upsets someone I love and then annoys me, I and going to want to get revenge on them, but in the future I can not do that. That is one thing that holds me back that I am going to have to change.
I think through my eyes and feelings, these feelings are a villian or my enemy and to them I am their enemy and villian. These emotions what nothing more than to conquer me and I am not going to let that happen. I have to conquer them and push thise feelings in the past and I am going to do that by changing the way I feel towards these emotions.